Cappi started in the counseling profession as an addictions counselor, working with both the substance abuser and their partners. It is my belief that treatment programs are the best route to take when the alcoholic/substance abuser has made the positive decision to quit. However in private practice, family member issues, people who live with chemically dependent people can be successfully addressed. Cappi helps families realize this disease is like a "white elephant" that everyone sees but ignores and avoids. Her expertise in codependency helps you to focus on altering behaviors in yourself that only you have the power to change.

Families struggling with addiction issues may answer "yes" to some of the following:

• I feel like I shouldn't do anything to make others angry at me
• I feel I should keep others happy
• I tend to overextend myself in taking care of others
• It's important to put my own values and needs aside in order to preserve my relationship with my partner
• Giving is the most important way I have to feel good
• Fear of someone else's anger has a lot of influence on what I say or do

Are you exhibiting these behaviors?

• I find myself worrying when my partner is going to drink (or abuse substances, gamble,compulsively shop etc.) next
• It's partially my responsibility to keep my partner away from his/her addiction
• I try to keep things stable so that my children do not notice substance abuse or addictive behaviors
• I feel resentful and angry because it seems there's too much responsibility on me

Cappi helps family members of addicts or alcoholics learn specific stages, symptoms and the progression of the addiction. In this process attention is paid to teaching you how to take better care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually. We also learn healthy boundaries and how to establish loving and firm ones. It's important to be aware of one's own behaviors that are contributing to the problems in the family and that enable the alcoholic/addict. In the process you will develop a future plan and vision for yourself that include new healthy habits that make you feel good about yourself and/or children. Finally you develop a meaningful understanding that only you can change yourself and specific ways in which to accomplish this.

*from Edmund J Bourne,phd "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook"